Silent treatment just isn't the same during deployment!
Sun Jul 20, 2008 at 12:14:07 PM PDT
One of the easiest, most effective (and most oft used in our household) strategies for letting Mr. Wonderful know I'm mad at him is by the silent treatment (sometimes it does backfire though, as in, he enjoys that moment of silence too much!). Problem is, the loss of, shall we say, umph!, in delivery of said strategy during deployments when it takes a good couple of days of not answering the phone (should a POTS line or cellphone become avaible during a port visit) or an email to get through to Mr. Wonderful that no, it isn't the comm system on the boat or a difference in time zones that is what is holding back my long distance kisses and huggles.
I am smack in the middle of Day 2 of SST (Strategy Silent Treatment) and no reaction. None. How can there be when he doesn't notice yet how mad I am? And why are we arguing (or at least I'm trying to) - oh please, let's discuss the why. I'm about one more day of this from the trusty fall back strategy of BITBG (Bringing in the Big Guns...calling his mom!). No, I'm kidding. I wouldn't call his mom...I'd call mine!
To not bore you with detailing speak (the process by which military members get their "orders" or next job placement), I'll just say that he has been given some options for his next set of orders and we do not, DO NOT!, agree on which would be better for A. his career or B. our family. I feel like he is totally discounting my feelings and very fabulous advice (which, of course, I freely give!) and he, well, I don't even know what he feels like because he mentioned in passing, like, oh yeah, this is what I'm thinking after talking to my detailer. Nevermind that he had a totally different opinion on these options earlier and PS - telling your wife (in an oh-so-dismissive manner no less!) that you are willingly volunteering to go on a back to back deployment schedule when there is another option on the table that fulfills all the same requirements...just not a good idea for all you Mr. Wonderfuls out there. Also not extremely condusive to an in-depth discussion of such magnitude is choosing to discuss this topic when your better half is preparing to host a party at your house for 20 people or in the middle of feeding/putting to bed Thing 1 and Thing 2. Just. Not. A. Good. Time. Seriously, I don't think I'd even give money to the No Offshore Drilling/Arrest Karl Rove/Put Impeachment on the Table/Pro-Choice Women United Fund if they called and wanted a serious discussion during those times.
So, that is where I am right now. I talked to my neighbor while the kidlets and I were out enjoying a walk around the neighborhood. He is also military and has some insight into the detailing process. He said to pass along his email address if Mr. Wonderful would like someone to bounce ideas off of. I said I would definitely do so...but first I have to wait for him to understand how mad I am at him...which he can't do until he realizes I am not returning his emails. Gah - so frustrating! It is so much easier to use the silent treatment strategy when the person is actually PRESENT!
