Well, another "study" has come out "proving" that babies try to deceive their parents as early as six months.  

Dr Vasudevi Reddy, of the University of Portsmouth's psychology department has...

identified seven categories of deception used between six months and three-years-old.

Infants quickly learnt that using tactics such as fake crying and pretend laughing could win them attention.

By eight months, more difficult deceptions became apparent, such as concealing forbidden activities or trying to distract parents' attention.

By the age of two, toddlers could use far more devious techniques, such as bluffing when threatened with a punishment.

As I’ve said before, I live in conservative rural suburbia.  Since moving here two years ago, I’ve heard all sorts of things I don’t agree with.  There are lots of pro-lifers and some who are for "the war on terror".  The local paper has a pastor who writes a weekly article that would set your hair on fire.  One recent gem included the fact that there’s no global warming and that the recent climate changes are due to God’s wrath for all our sins.  I feel that we can agree to disagree on subjects like this.    

Well, I’m having trouble with this latest one, MotherTalkers.  Last night at my son’s baseball game, some of the parents were talking about effeminate boys.  I said nothing, listening to where it was all going.  One of the fathers said..."Yeah, you don’t want a funny one".  That bothered me.  Then, another mom said "I really don’t believe that it’s something you are born with... it’s totally a choice".  I said that it absolutely is NOT a choice, and it IS something you are born with.  She said that everyone has their opinions.  There was silence after that, and the conversation was over.  

I’ve actually owned my copy of Non-Violent Communication for a couple of years and I have been meaning to read it for some time.  I wish now that I had read it years ago.  There’s so much valuable information in it, that I almost don’t even know where to start.  So much of the way we speak is part of our upbringing and we become conditioned to "judge, demand, and diagnose in terms of what is right and wrong with people".  Having grown up with a demanding and judgmental parent, I can attest to the fact that I too fall into the same pattern.  NVC is supposed to break us free of these old habits.  I can see that such a conscious mind-shift isn’t going to come without practice.  

NVC teaches us to speak from the heart.  Humans basically act as a result of unmet needs.  When we get to the heart of those unmet needs, then we can truly connect with ourselves and others.  

I’ve never been a gun person.  I’m not a member of the NRA.  Admittedly, I’ve also never been a fan of kids and pretend gun-play.  We own a few squirt guns, a Star Wars light saber or two, but that’s about it.  Last night, when I was putting my first grader to bed, he jokingly pointed his finger at me and made shooting gun noises.  I was surprised, and asked him if kids had been doing that a lot lately since the VA Tech shootings earlier in the week.  He looked back at me with equal surprise.  He said, no, and then I proceeded to tell him how Mommy doesn’t like guns.  He apologized and I kissed him goodnight.

So, imagine my astonishment this morning when I read the Newsweek article Let’s Not Demonize Boys’ Play by Peg Tyre.  As a nation, we’ve become hyper vigilant since the Columbine shooting in 1999.

I’ve had this diary brewing in my head for the past few weeks and now that Michgs has written about her experience with her OB, I thought it might be time.  I too am proud of her for talking to her OB about her negative experience.  She did a huge favor to those who will come after her in that practice.

I remember the first time I heard about Genetically Modified Foods, I thought to myself...this can’t be a good thing.  The arguments for GMO’s, were health benefits:  like adding more fiber or vitamins to foods.  Or, crop yield benefits:  making them resistant to disease or pests.  I am leery of anything that’s not natural in food anyway, so why would I want fish genes in my tomatoes to make them more frost resistant?  While that may be a benefit in they eyes of giant corporations like Monsanto, we are paying the price as guinea pigs for their little genetic experiment.  

My first grade son, Grant, has never had a problem with academics.  He sailed through the first few months of kindergarten and loved the social aspect of public school.  After winter break last year, we started having problems.  He decided he didn’t want to go to school anymore.  It was a struggle to get him to do his homework.  The strange thing was, he was getting excellent marks on his work so what was the problem?  Turns out he was bored, as he "knew all this stuff" already.   It was awful!  

In first grade, we had the sheer luck of getting a teacher who is getting her masters in teaching gifted students.  She asked me to help out in the classroom once a week during book studies, so I’m pretty involved with what’s going on in his class this year.  Because of this, I see where other students abilities are in relation to my son... an insight I did not have last year.  Again, the concepts came easy to him and again he was getting excellent marks on his work.  I was waiting for him to get bored after winter break again this year.  It didn’t happen.  The difference?  His teacher is working with him and a few other students who are ahead of the learning curve to give them more challenging work.  

Though some families have no problem co-sleeping with a 14 month old and 6 year old, it obviously was not working for this family.  They were unhappy, and the kids weren't getting their sleep.  Dr. Sears says "wherever the family gets the most sleep is the best arrangement".  It was like they started co-sleeping and weren't sure how to transition in to the next step, whether that was getting the 6 year old to sleep in her own bed or some other arrangement.  I think Jo was a help with this new arrangement.  

Okay... now on to the baby.  In the show, Alissa is 14 months old (not 17 months as described in the Sun Times Article).  There are many families who would view this as still pretty young to be weaned... especially in other countries.  Incidentally, the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least two years.  Though Mrs. Walker seems ready to wean, she also seems conflicted about it.  I think the thing that bothers me the most about this advice, is that the weaning is abrupt.  There's no slow transition dropping feedings one by one.  It's right to the bottle at the very next nap and that's it.  Mrs. Walker seems happy about the fact that her baby is weaned, so maybe this is a positive for this family.  However, I think Jo does a real injustice to mothers who choose to breastfeed beyond a year.  It's quite obvious that she views it as unnecessary at this stage in a child's life.  It's as if the milk a mother produces after a year suddenly has no nutritional or immunological benefits anymore.  Don't get me wrong... I have no problem with mothers who wish to wean their children because the breastfeeding relationship is no longer working for them or their child.  It just seems to me that a tough love approach isn't a one size fits all prescription for every family.  

Later in the show, she also gets Alissa to sleep on her own in a crib utilizing a cry it out method.  This made me squirm a bit because it's just not my parenting style.  During the show, it works after 5 minutes.  They only show this once, so we don't know if subsequent attempts are as "successful".  

It'll be interesting to see how others in the AP world react to this show.  Like I stated before... if the mother wants to wean and the end result is a happier family, then they made the right choice.  However I think those who practice AP parenting will have a problem with Supernanny's attitude about extended breastfeeding and how the situation is handled.  Let the nurse-ins begin!

Dr. Sears The Baby Book

Or...

Dr. Marshall Rosenberg's Non Violent Communication

Well, here we go again!  Another company has decided that breastfeeding is offensive.  This time, it's the popular forum MySpace.  Women who have posted photos of themselves breastfeeding their babies are having their photos removed by the site, because they "violate the terms of agreement, which state that any content that is offensive, illegal or violate the rights, harm, or threaten the safety of any person".  The kicker, is that I've seen more skin on MySpace than those breastfeeding moms, so how do they explain that?

I am so sick of hearing that people find breastfeeding disgusting or offensive.  When will our culture get over this whole "breast as a sexual object" phenomenon?  There's definitely something wrong with a person who views a baby at the breast as something pornographic.  There's just nothing sexual about it.  Sorry, but it's the way babies have been fed for the majority of human history.  Why then, do some people have such a hang up about it?  

Apparently, Jenna Jameson has her own MySpace site complete with photos.  So, a porn star half naked in a g-string is okay, but a mom nursing her child is not?  I can see why these moms are in an uproar!

Some of the mothers have received hate filled messages in reference to their breastfeeding photos.  A mother in Tacoma, Washington, had her photos deleted three times in one day as MySpace deemed them inappropriate.  She and other moms have even been threatened to be banned from the site.  

You can sign a petition here.  So far MySpace hasn't commented on all this brouhaha, which isn't a big surprise.  I'm dying to hear their explanation on this one.  The whole thing seems a bit hypocritical to me, don't you think MotherTalkers?